then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
