Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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