Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
