do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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