Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
