Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
