I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Are my feet made of real feet?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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