i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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