When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
