all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
