jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
