it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
