So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
