yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
