Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I have aggressive nipples.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
