What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
