Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
