There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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