sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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