these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
