ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
