I love black thongs
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
