Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
