pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
