She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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