Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
