Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
