hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
