His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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