So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
