I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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