her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you didnt know i had herpes?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
