i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
