Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
