HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
