True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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