I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I am available for nakedness
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
