we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
