You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She's the barista slut.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
