Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
