can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
