she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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