Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
