i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
