is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just had sex on a roof
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
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