Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
