All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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