Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
third nipple confirmed
Randomize
