White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
