Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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