Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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